You open your e-mail inbox. Your Streamyx is acting up, as usual and so it takes painstakingly long to load the god-damned page. You try to distract yourself from the unresponsive webpage. As the saying goes : "A watched web page never loads".
Finally, the screen shows some signs of life. Yes!! The ads have finished loading. You click on a friends name to read the e-mail he sent you. "Fw:Fw: Must Read!!!!". Wow, must be some really important stuff to have 1,2,3,4 - 4 exclamation marks. After yet another agonizing pause, the contents finally finish loading.
Instead of some sage advice like "Don't stand under a tree when there is a lightning storm" or "Don't take a phone call when you're charging your mobile phone", the e-mail contained stories of how complete strangers who read this message and deleted it ended up very dead. Apparently, if you didn't forward this e-mail, you'd be killed by a photocopy machine or you'd end up stabbing yourself 17 times before being run over by a car. Then, there's the story of how some lucky bastard actually believed the stories and forwarded the e-mail got rich or got a promotion or married the love of his life. Finally, came the threats and instructions that you must adhere to in order to escape a horrific end. *Yawn* Lame-O....
Please stop sending me chain mail. Your attempts to save your soul from eternal damnation are ultimately futile. Mankind has existed for millions of years, the Internet only caught on in the 90's, go figure. If our fates could be decided by sending an e-mail, we'd all be living the high life, don't you think. Shit, the only poor people in the world would be those who don't know how to use a computer.
Think before you send that chain letter on to me, it just might be the last thing you do. Cuz even if it said you were going to live a happy life, it can't stop me from WHOOPING YOUR SORRY ASS!!!
I hate chain mail. May the end of my shoe swiftly meet the squishy behind of those who forward them to me.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Life...
I had an epiphany. The worst thing about it was that it happened when I was just about to fall asleep. Ever since, its been bugging me so much I have to type it out and share it with friends and strangers alike. Here goes...
My brother is on a 1 month trip to KL to get his Visa sorted out and visit some of my relatives. My first thought was, FREEDOM. Finally, I could do what I wanted, drive myself to school and basically think for myself. Gone were the days where I had to wait for my bro to pick me up from school. Admittedly, he wasn't always late, but it really annoyed me when he was.
As any normal siblings, we'd often have petty squabbles. Sometime they could last for days. I'm not the aggressive type and I'd constantly be at a loss for witty comebacks. Sometimes I would get so pissed off I would vow never to speak to him again. That obviously never worked.
Back to my realization of Great Truth. I always thought that life after Abiel (my brother) would be really really sweet. No one to criticize me or rat me out. Life, as it were. would be quite enjoyable. However, I found that it was rather lonely without someone bursting into your room or hitting you for no apparent reason. That is when I realized, life from then on would never be the same again. Gone were the days when we could just fool around. We were making the transition into adulthood, and thus the stage was set for the brutal game called Life.
Nothing would ever be the same again. Once we leave our home to pursue our studies overseas, we won't know when we'll be able to meet again. It would be the last time we'd ever feel at home - at home. It's a really complicated feeling you get. You're familiar with your house and you know that this is your house yet you feel kinda detached from it, like you're just some guest in a hotel room you always stay in on business trips.
Then there's keeping in touch. I know there's Skype and what not but there definitely would be gaps in communications. I wouldn't say we're really close but me and my bro have this kindred understanding to 'chot' the shit out of random people, thus the mutual hatred we share for numerous things. Who knows whether we'd still share that interest 5 years down the line.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm finally growing up. After all those years as a kid, wishing I could grow up faster, I really wish that I could relive my high school years, especially Senior 1. Somehow, I found that particular year to be a really really good year. I wished I could have known everyone in school better, I wished I could have known my bro better, I wished I could have gotten to know my parents better. All I can pray for is that I can make-up for all those years taken for granted and get to spend more time with my family....
So, to those who are still in KK, cherish the time you have with your family. Friends are still important, but family comes first. After all, blood is always thicker than water.
My brother is on a 1 month trip to KL to get his Visa sorted out and visit some of my relatives. My first thought was, FREEDOM. Finally, I could do what I wanted, drive myself to school and basically think for myself. Gone were the days where I had to wait for my bro to pick me up from school. Admittedly, he wasn't always late, but it really annoyed me when he was.
As any normal siblings, we'd often have petty squabbles. Sometime they could last for days. I'm not the aggressive type and I'd constantly be at a loss for witty comebacks. Sometimes I would get so pissed off I would vow never to speak to him again. That obviously never worked.
Back to my realization of Great Truth. I always thought that life after Abiel (my brother) would be really really sweet. No one to criticize me or rat me out. Life, as it were. would be quite enjoyable. However, I found that it was rather lonely without someone bursting into your room or hitting you for no apparent reason. That is when I realized, life from then on would never be the same again. Gone were the days when we could just fool around. We were making the transition into adulthood, and thus the stage was set for the brutal game called Life.
Nothing would ever be the same again. Once we leave our home to pursue our studies overseas, we won't know when we'll be able to meet again. It would be the last time we'd ever feel at home - at home. It's a really complicated feeling you get. You're familiar with your house and you know that this is your house yet you feel kinda detached from it, like you're just some guest in a hotel room you always stay in on business trips.
Then there's keeping in touch. I know there's Skype and what not but there definitely would be gaps in communications. I wouldn't say we're really close but me and my bro have this kindred understanding to 'chot' the shit out of random people, thus the mutual hatred we share for numerous things. Who knows whether we'd still share that interest 5 years down the line.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm finally growing up. After all those years as a kid, wishing I could grow up faster, I really wish that I could relive my high school years, especially Senior 1. Somehow, I found that particular year to be a really really good year. I wished I could have known everyone in school better, I wished I could have known my bro better, I wished I could have gotten to know my parents better. All I can pray for is that I can make-up for all those years taken for granted and get to spend more time with my family....
So, to those who are still in KK, cherish the time you have with your family. Friends are still important, but family comes first. After all, blood is always thicker than water.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Result
Wow, its been that long since I posted?
Anyways, I got my IELTS results on Friday, as scheduled. Drove down to the British Council myself. Here it is:
Listening : 9
Reading : 9
Writing : 7.5
Speaking : 8
Overall Band Score : 8.5
Yay...
Anyways, I got my IELTS results on Friday, as scheduled. Drove down to the British Council myself. Here it is:
Listening : 9
Reading : 9
Writing : 7.5
Speaking : 8
Overall Band Score : 8.5
Yay...
Saturday, May 10, 2008
It's Saturday Night and..
..and There's Nothing Good on Astro. Damn you.
I've been flipping through the channels, not a single program caught my eye. What the hell? I'm paying to be entertained, not train the muscles in my index finger. Please! Please, put something good on the weekends. Everything interesting is on during the weekdays, its like the entire network is conspiring against me, forcing me to forsake my weekday revision timetable to make way for hours of TV.
Why? Why? WHY??!!
Maybe I should start my own cable company. I'll call it "Ass-tro", where customers pay for hours of programs that they would actually be interested in. Therefore you won't be able to 'get your ass of the couch' and hence, Ass-tro.
"Ass-tro, subscribe now and watch your cushions become flatter by the hour. Warning, known side effects include Numb-Bum. Please consult your physician before applying, we will not be held responsible for deformed buttocks."
Hope you're trembling in your shoes Astro. Once Ass-tro goes mainstream, you're toast.
I've been flipping through the channels, not a single program caught my eye. What the hell? I'm paying to be entertained, not train the muscles in my index finger. Please! Please, put something good on the weekends. Everything interesting is on during the weekdays, its like the entire network is conspiring against me, forcing me to forsake my weekday revision timetable to make way for hours of TV.
Why? Why? WHY??!!
Maybe I should start my own cable company. I'll call it "Ass-tro", where customers pay for hours of programs that they would actually be interested in. Therefore you won't be able to 'get your ass of the couch' and hence, Ass-tro.
"Ass-tro, subscribe now and watch your cushions become flatter by the hour. Warning, known side effects include Numb-Bum. Please consult your physician before applying, we will not be held responsible for deformed buttocks."
Hope you're trembling in your shoes Astro. Once Ass-tro goes mainstream, you're toast.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Passion + Commitment = Results
Today is the worst day of my life...
My arms, are sore. S-O-R-E to the max. I can't even lift my finger to touch my nose without feeling my arm go stiff. Typing this post now, is a nightmare...
It all started 2 days ago. My brother decided it was time to impart his knowledge in weight training to me, the slightly overweight 18 year old. My argument has always been that 'muscles make me heavier' Obviously, that's getting quite old.
So, I decided to take weight loss seriously. The day before my arms gave out, I went swimming. Came home lightly toasted, my back emitting invisible heat waves. Not comfortable at all.
The next day, my bro coaxed me into going to the gym with him, with promises of a better physique. I started to get ideas and imagined myself looking slightly thinner and more buff. I liked it. A lot. So, I started out with a 15 minute stint on the treadmill. My main objective now is to lose the extra baggage before bulking up. No point building up muscles that can't be seen under years of fatty deposits, right?
Next came the weight training. Started off with a few sets of bench presses, with the bar only. Just the bar only weighs 20kgs. Man, my arms didn't like this training at all. After doing 2 sets, they started to tremble. 'Breath in when you flex!' said my brother. Then we did some inclined presses. Twice the fun, four times the pain and agony. Imagine having to lift the 20kg bar while lying down at a 45 degree angle to the bar. I was really about to give up. That was when my bro said you have three more exercises to do. *Sigh*
The session went by with me focusing on the biceps and upper body. By the end, my arms were stiff and in pain. They kept trembling and I was sure they'd just fall off. Thank God its all over.
Wait a minute, this is just the first session! Shit... If I knew losing weight was this hard, I'd have kept the weight off in the first place.
The next day, when my arms were still feeling sore, in all my wisdom, I decided to go play badminton. Wrong choice. After playing for 2 hours, I definitely over-stressed my arms. Waking up today, I couldn't really lift or move them. It's so agonizing to just brush my teeth. I kept letting out groans and moans. Never again, shall I so vigorously wear you out. I promise.
Now I have to make small movements whenever I have to move my hands so as not to stir the pain in my arms. No pain no gain I guess. Arghhh! I had to move the mouse...
My arms, are sore. S-O-R-E to the max. I can't even lift my finger to touch my nose without feeling my arm go stiff. Typing this post now, is a nightmare...
It all started 2 days ago. My brother decided it was time to impart his knowledge in weight training to me, the slightly overweight 18 year old. My argument has always been that 'muscles make me heavier' Obviously, that's getting quite old.
So, I decided to take weight loss seriously. The day before my arms gave out, I went swimming. Came home lightly toasted, my back emitting invisible heat waves. Not comfortable at all.
The next day, my bro coaxed me into going to the gym with him, with promises of a better physique. I started to get ideas and imagined myself looking slightly thinner and more buff. I liked it. A lot. So, I started out with a 15 minute stint on the treadmill. My main objective now is to lose the extra baggage before bulking up. No point building up muscles that can't be seen under years of fatty deposits, right?
Next came the weight training. Started off with a few sets of bench presses, with the bar only. Just the bar only weighs 20kgs. Man, my arms didn't like this training at all. After doing 2 sets, they started to tremble. 'Breath in when you flex!' said my brother. Then we did some inclined presses. Twice the fun, four times the pain and agony. Imagine having to lift the 20kg bar while lying down at a 45 degree angle to the bar. I was really about to give up. That was when my bro said you have three more exercises to do. *Sigh*
The session went by with me focusing on the biceps and upper body. By the end, my arms were stiff and in pain. They kept trembling and I was sure they'd just fall off. Thank God its all over.
Wait a minute, this is just the first session! Shit... If I knew losing weight was this hard, I'd have kept the weight off in the first place.
The next day, when my arms were still feeling sore, in all my wisdom, I decided to go play badminton. Wrong choice. After playing for 2 hours, I definitely over-stressed my arms. Waking up today, I couldn't really lift or move them. It's so agonizing to just brush my teeth. I kept letting out groans and moans. Never again, shall I so vigorously wear you out. I promise.
Now I have to make small movements whenever I have to move my hands so as not to stir the pain in my arms. No pain no gain I guess. Arghhh! I had to move the mouse...
Saturday, May 3, 2008
IELTS
I took my IELTS test today.
Why? Why can't I not have taken the test? Why does everyone give me the same answer when I tell them
I'm taking the test.
Is it that unbelievable?
I did Listening, Reading and Writing all in one 2 and a half hour session. Did my Speaking test the previous day. One thing that surprised me, was the number of adults taking this test. I'm not saying that I'm still young or anything, but it was kinda weird seeing 30 yr old 'Ahn-tees' with their incrdibly flashy hand-bags, waiting around to take the test. Wonder what's the band score needed to be a qualified housewife?
Moving on...
Listening.
It was all going well up till the end. This Australian lecturer was talking about the Rainbow Serpent in Aboriginal art. Apparently the Aboriginal art period can be divided into 3 main periods. Dynamic, Yam and Modern. Hmmmm, Yam. Explains alot why most people are naked in the paintings (Yam can be read as 'Yum': Cantonese for, gahhh, forget it...) Anyways, the woman on the radio was banging on about how the Rainbow Serpent was thought to be a culmination of a kangaroo, snake and crocodile. A picture suddenlyappeared in my mind: Barney with a forked tongue hopping around going "G'day mate!". Then I realised Barney was actually a dinosaur. And that he was purple. And that he was too cheery for his own good, the optimistic bastard. At the same time that my mind was thinking up ways to 'extinct' Barney for good, I missed the answer for question 35.
Luckily I managed to 'fluke' my way through that.
Me: 1 Barney: Dead
Next up was Reading. Surprisingly challenging I must say. Had to read and re-read the passages to filter out the answers. Correct answers that is, nearly got fooled by the sly way the questions were asked. All in all, I managed to
sneak in 10 min of sleep after I finished.
Finally, Writing. They gave us an hour to complete 2 essays. 20 in was allocated for the first essay, an 'examine graphic, write essay' question. Done. Next was an argumentative essay. "Should rich countries refuse employment to skilled workers like doctors,
engineers and scientists from poor countries, as the poor countries
need them more"
This was a real brain-teaser. How do you keep a man's desire to live the American Dream without causing the economic and social downfall of his native country? Obviously, this wasn't a question that could be solved by writing a 250 word essay in an English profficiency test. So I did what I always do: present some half-true fact, elaborate on it the best I can, make a relevant suggestion and draw a conclusion similair to my opening statement. Great Success!!
I was kinda happy that the test was over. Now I can tell everyone that I've taken the test and
it won't be like discovering that the Earth is actually flat.
Results come out on the 16th. Dont jinx it!!
Peace out...
Why? Why can't I not have taken the test? Why does everyone give me the same answer when I tell them
I'm taking the test.
Is it that unbelievable?
I did Listening, Reading and Writing all in one 2 and a half hour session. Did my Speaking test the previous day. One thing that surprised me, was the number of adults taking this test. I'm not saying that I'm still young or anything, but it was kinda weird seeing 30 yr old 'Ahn-tees' with their incrdibly flashy hand-bags, waiting around to take the test. Wonder what's the band score needed to be a qualified housewife?
Moving on...
Listening.
It was all going well up till the end. This Australian lecturer was talking about the Rainbow Serpent in Aboriginal art. Apparently the Aboriginal art period can be divided into 3 main periods. Dynamic, Yam and Modern. Hmmmm, Yam. Explains alot why most people are naked in the paintings (Yam can be read as 'Yum': Cantonese for, gahhh, forget it...) Anyways, the woman on the radio was banging on about how the Rainbow Serpent was thought to be a culmination of a kangaroo, snake and crocodile. A picture suddenlyappeared in my mind: Barney with a forked tongue hopping around going "G'day mate!". Then I realised Barney was actually a dinosaur. And that he was purple. And that he was too cheery for his own good, the optimistic bastard. At the same time that my mind was thinking up ways to 'extinct' Barney for good, I missed the answer for question 35.
Luckily I managed to 'fluke' my way through that.
Me: 1 Barney: Dead
Next up was Reading. Surprisingly challenging I must say. Had to read and re-read the passages to filter out the answers. Correct answers that is, nearly got fooled by the sly way the questions were asked. All in all, I managed to
sneak in 10 min of sleep after I finished.
Finally, Writing. They gave us an hour to complete 2 essays. 20 in was allocated for the first essay, an 'examine graphic, write essay' question. Done. Next was an argumentative essay. "Should rich countries refuse employment to skilled workers like doctors,
engineers and scientists from poor countries, as the poor countries
need them more"
This was a real brain-teaser. How do you keep a man's desire to live the American Dream without causing the economic and social downfall of his native country? Obviously, this wasn't a question that could be solved by writing a 250 word essay in an English profficiency test. So I did what I always do: present some half-true fact, elaborate on it the best I can, make a relevant suggestion and draw a conclusion similair to my opening statement. Great Success!!
I was kinda happy that the test was over. Now I can tell everyone that I've taken the test and
it won't be like discovering that the Earth is actually flat.
Results come out on the 16th. Dont jinx it!!
Peace out...
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Learning From Others
Recently, I've been helping my friends out with their various asignments. We have the straight-forward and honestly, dull reading reports and the more challenging literature analaysis. It's really hard work with me stuck in front of the computer, racking my brains and dividing my train of thoughts in two because I'm helping 2 different people doing 2 different assignments simultaneously. At the same time, my mom keeps popping over, asking what exactly am I doing and suggests that if it isn't school stuff, I should be upstairs studying.
How do I tell her I'm actually helping someone else with their assignments? I chose the most rational approach....
I lied. I convinced her that the documents lying before me are of the utmost importance and that by completing them, I can excel in my class. Whew....
Anyways, I did some heavy literature stuff, you know, poems and stuff. Learned alot from helping friends thats for sure. Terms like 'alliteration' and 'enjambment' were foreign to me until I embarked on my quest to help others. Do you know what they mean? Weren't so helpful towards your friends now were ya?
I relish the fact that my services are needed and valued by others. There is a rewarding sensation that you get when you manage to actually help someone.
Charity rulez!!
Oi! Back to work....
How do I tell her I'm actually helping someone else with their assignments? I chose the most rational approach....
I lied. I convinced her that the documents lying before me are of the utmost importance and that by completing them, I can excel in my class. Whew....
Anyways, I did some heavy literature stuff, you know, poems and stuff. Learned alot from helping friends thats for sure. Terms like 'alliteration' and 'enjambment' were foreign to me until I embarked on my quest to help others. Do you know what they mean? Weren't so helpful towards your friends now were ya?
I relish the fact that my services are needed and valued by others. There is a rewarding sensation that you get when you manage to actually help someone.
Charity rulez!!
Oi! Back to work....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)