WTF Moments

Ever seen something so ridiculous, so stupid, so absurd that all you can say is 'WTF?'. Oh man, these things happen all the time to me, too often. I don't know why I always seem to catch people in their WTF Moments. Todays WTF Moment : Toto (incl. 88, STC etc.)

Okay, I'm not going to be talking about WHY people buy Toto 'cause we all know that'll remain the greatest mystery of the civilized world. It's the people who buy Toto that are my main concern. I mean, its okay if you're an uncle and like to spend/waste/burn RM5 once a week. But when you see mothers and fathers bringing their children along to buy Toto, there's something wrong with that scene. Something very wrong. I heard this little girl, about 6 or 7 years old, yelling out numbers for her dad to bet on. "Daddy, daddy. Buy 11, 27, 14 and 4, ok?" (in Hakka, and no, I am not making this up)

WTF??!!!

Is it just me or are parents getting dumber and dumber-er? I have nothing against people having a little faith (a little too much, if you ask me) and trying their luck. I mean seriously, how does it reflect on your parenting skills when you've resorted to seeking advice from your child. Honestly, the standard of parenting has really gone down. You see these parents, barely out of high school, TRYING to bring up 3 children. Three!!! It comes to the point where its just selfish for them to have children. You KNOW they have no future, not that I'm being an asshole or anything, but you can definitely tell.

Well, that's my WTF Moment for today. Probably post something on teenage parents some other time. I know we're all thinking the same thing: There should be a law against these people from having children or even intercourse for that matter. Please don't ask your children to come up with numbers for you, its just plain embarrassing.

Vege-meat

I know my earlier post was kinda WTF for a new post after such a long hiatus. After reading it again this morning I realized how pointless that post was and I don't know why on Earth I posted it. Anyways, screw it.

Back to my usual rants.

Vegetarian food prepared in a manner so that they resemble or imitate meat in taste and appearance has managed to annoy me lately. Yes, you see them on menus at vegan restaurants, in the freezers of supermarkets and on cooking shows. Fried tofu made to look and taste like fried fish, mushrooms (鮑魚菇 especially!!) fried and seasoned to taste like meat and the ultimate vege-meat impostor : Dried tofu 'roast duck'.

What the eff?

I mean, I get why people would go vegan and I have nothing against vegetarians. I just don't get why some people can't just eat vegetables the way they are, instead of this meat-like vegetarian meat substitute. That's fucked up right there. Don't agree? Try saying this phrase again, slowly : meat-like vegetarian meat substitute. I don't even understand what that means...

But they exist! They taste like meat (well, not really), feel like meat (not exactly either) and look like meat (way off, they usually look too burnt or too pathetic and don't resemble meat at all). I guess what I'm trying to say is, they market them as vegetarian meat, but it doesn't look, taste or feel like meat in any way. So what exactly is the point of going through so much trouble? Surely it would be much healthier to eat vegetables that look, taste and feel like vegetables? You can be much more honest with yourself as well, no more trying to trick your brain into thinking that piece of dried bean curd was a steak. Honestly, sometimes people just get stupid ideas. Like the Laser disc, or Nazism. Now, vege-meat. Fail.

Please!! Don't torture our vegetables!! Stop exploiting the poor bean curds and tofu's of the world!! Eat them the way they're supposed to taste: bland, soft and most importantly- with that weird, legume-y taste!! If you can't even accept that, then you're better off being a meat-eater you cowardly animal killer, you.

You Don't Really Want to Know What I Think

Finally, made it a point to create a new post. I'm surprised they haven't cancelled my account yet.

Anyways, what I'm about to discuss is a topic some might think sensitive and possibly racist. I want to stress the fact that these are opinions based on my observations, knowledge and personal values ONLY. I would also recommend that the comments (if any, don't want to be perasan =P) be kept kosher and sterile, like operating theatre sterile. I would also like to say, due to the subject matter, there will be no profanity, sarcasm or fun-making. Sorry to disappoint, I know this is not my usual fare.

So, I got an SMS from my service provider, Maxis. I deleted the message shortly after but it has been bugging me for a while now. In essence, Maxis was doing a survey in conjunction with the recently announced national unity slogan of our esteemed Prime Minister, Datuk Seri Najib (I'm not familiar with his last name, so I guess this would have to do) : Satu Malaysia or One Malaysia. I was given the opportunity to express my opinion on how this slogan could be realistically implemented in Malaysian society, me of all people! I was seriously considering replying the text message. However, boys and girls, once something is in writing, you cannot escape responsibility NO MATTER how you try to spin it.

However, does that mean we should keep quiet just to avoid the repercussions, if any, of our actions? The truth is not always pleasant, and telling it is not always the easiest thing to do. I think the first step to national, social and even racial unity is the abolishment of the hak istimewa awarded to bumiputra's. I mean, its called survival of the fittest for a reason. Evolution made sure every species fought for its right to live and survive. It didn't make any exceptions for anyone. Giving special privileges to a certain group of people is going to cause problems. First off, humans are jealous in nature, even the goody-est of the goody two shoes. I know the current situation isn't like Apartheid or anything like that, but it still causes rifts between the bumiputra's and non-bumiputra's. That, from a developing country's point of view, is never worth sacrificing unity for. Malaysians should be working together to accomplish a single and shared goal and not be divided by this issue. A compromise resulting in equal rights for ALL MALAYSIANS would be a great leap forward in realizing Satu Malaysia.

The next thing that has to go is the Internal Security Act (ISA). It was implemented by the British, our colonial rulers to counter the Communist insurgency post-WWII. Essentially, it dictates that the government has the right to detain anyone without the need for trial in certain defined circumstances. Malaysia is one of the few countries in the world whose Constitution allows preventive detention DURING PEACETIME without safeguards that elsewhere are understood to be basic requirements for protecting fundamental human rights. Since there isn't a war going on and the Iron Curtain collapsed decades ago, how's about abolishing this redundant policy eh? Ever since the Communists gave up, the ISA has been used by the country's upper echelons to silence and control citizens who voice out their opinions a bit too loudly. I'm sure we've all heard stories about that.

Finally, by securing equal rights for every Malaysian, there will be no debate about the abilities and performance of the bumiputras. By letting them compete fairly with everyone else, their accomplishments won't be dismissed as a lesser form by the other non-bumiputra minorities and the country will be able to move forward the way it should : Deserving individuals getting the best their country has to offer. It certainly provides an incentive to all Malaysians to perform better and achieve more in life.

Before I get ISA-ed, I would like to commend the Federal Government for finally recognizing the 16th of September as Malaysia Day starting from 2010. It means a lot to us Sabahan's and Sarawakian's.

Every country has its problems. Shouldn't they be dealt head on? Peace and unity people, that's all that really matters. If we can't even get along with each other, forget building a functioning society or prosperous nation.

Driving Hell

Ever wondered what driving hell would be like? Well wonder no more and come on down to Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia. Warning, driving around here may cause: high blood pressure, sudden cursing, severe cursing, continuos cursing (a string of 4 or more), cursing in foreign languages, cursing in mixed languages, rage, sexism, racism, boredom and my personal favorite, excessive and continuos cursing in 2 or more languages. Here is my Top 10 list on KK drivers/driving:

1. Cars that have uselessly loud exhausts pulling away at the lights. BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *whine* OOOOOOMMMMMMMMM. Nice going jackass, you've managed to roll it like 3 feet. A-m-a-z-i-n-g.
2. The ever present tudung lady/girl who somehow knows just how to piss you off. She's great at braking when the lights are green, signaling for ages but can't seem to summon the courage to change lanes, starting to brake 2 miles from the traffic lights/roundabout/junction, takes >2s to realize the lights have turned green and the ultimate stereotypical tudung-er: driving in the fast lane at 40km/h. Great.
3. Tailgaters. I'm driving a Land Cruiser, and this dipshit with his souped up Kancil goes all Michael Schumacher on my ass. Imagine a tiny little mosquito chasing after an elephant's behind. Must be one retarded mosquito.
4. Motorcycles. I know, some people can't afford cars. But do motorcyclists have to be so damned annoying? I mean, you're basically holding on to a metal coffin, with the 'you' part on the outside. You'd think they'd be extra careful right? Wrong. Apparently, less weight + shit for brains = There's no other way to put it - Fucked up driving.
5. Potholes and layer upon layer of lame attempts to fill out the holes. Who needs chiropractors when you can have your spine adjusted F.O.C. Please note that results may vary depending on speed, make of car and length of road. Side effects include distorted spines, crushed testicles and numb buttocks.
6. 'Sports cars'. You can always spot one right off the bat. They'd stick ridiculous vinyls like kancilracing.com.my or myvicarclub.com. Large spoilers, outrageous bodykits and ghastly paintjobs. Driver is usually a wanker.
7. Assholes who suddenly cut you off before the lights and you end up not making it. Need I say more.. Utter Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..
8. A phenomenon I like to call 'WTF?!'. E.g., a road with 2 lanes leading in the same direction. One is piled with cars, the next lane is empty. 'WTF?!'. Drivers who immediately cut into the fast lane from a junction. Mega 'WTF?!' + prolonged honking.
9. Pedestrians, encompassing but not limited to: Pedestrians who cross the road 10 feet from a overpass bridge, think they own the road, think they're made of metal/indestructible, walk like they're shopping around for segments of road, cross just when you think they won't, compose text messages while crossing.
10. Drivers who talk on the phone/text message on the road. I saved this for last because unfortunately I sometimes fall into this category. Please don't do it kids, its really very dangerous if you're a retard or just suck in every way at driving.

Driving should be pleasurable, a convenience. Why does it need to be Hell on Earth? WTF indeed.

Chaos Theory

Okay, so the Earth has been here for like 4.5 billion years. Life started to appear about a billion years later. The dinosaurs came and went. Tectonic shifts and massive earthquakes shaped the continents and formed oceans. Throughout all the turmoil and natural disasters, life on Earth was put to the test. Survival of the fittest. Evolve, or die. Scientist's hypothesize that of all the species of animals present on Earth today, they are collectively only 0.05% of the species that existed 3.5 billion years ago.

So here's my gripe, why the hell did the stupid, puny and annoying mosquito survive? God is a funny guy. Ha-ha, very funny.

You're sleeping. You finally get yourself into a comfortable position. Just when you're about to fall asleep, the sneaky bastards unleash all sorts of hell. The irritating buzz, false landings on your skin (forcing yourself to take the bait and smack yourself) and 'love bites' they leave after the free buffet. When you finally can't take it anymore and whip out the Ridsect Goodnight, you're wide awake and out for revenge. Filling the room with aerosol spray, you shout "Die f*ckers!! Dieeeeeee!!!". In the end, you realize that it was only one measly mosquito that provoked WW3.

So what exactly IS the purpose of the mosquito in nature? Bees pollinate flowers so we can have food all year round, what has the mosquito ever done besides being useless? (You can't even eat them!) Here's the description for the mosquito on Wikipedia:

"The females of most mosquito species suck blood (hematophagy) from other animals, which has made them the deadliest disease vector known, killing millions of people over thousands of years and continuing to kill millions per year by the spread of infectious diseases."

There you have it. It's a remorseless, purpose built killer to keep the human population in check. Oh thank you, thank you so much. Like we don't have enough diseases going around, you have to just go on and accelerate the process.

*Smack*- Result.

Even if mosquitos died out eons ago, would it really make a difference today? I say screw 'em. Good riddance. Hooray for sound and undisturbed sleep the world over. Then again, when you really think about it, 3 billion years of random but controlled evolution produced the mosquito, enabling it to disturb and annoy your slumber millions of years later. Instantly, you realize you're part of history. Yet you know your life is not significant enough to write a book about, so you blog. Sad isn't it?